Fair Skin & Black Skin

Fair Skin & Black Skin

Recent Miss America crowning of Nina Davuluri, an American lady of Indian origin attracted lot of media attention in India as well as in US. Here in US it was some what controversial because of many racist comments on twitter about her origin (some thought she was Arab or Muslim or from some non American country), most of them were angry that how come person with non American looks can win Miss America beauty contest. I am sure this was not about whether she deserves this title or not, I am sure she is an American citizen, so all this was because of her looks and origin. I am personally no at all interested in these beauty pageants, they are heavily commercialized events and solely intended for marketing purpose of beauty products targeting specific markets, even these titles are awarded with intention of targeting markets of specific countries or ethnic groups, there is no real purpose behind these contests except to attract media coverage and make money, every country has its own version of Miss, Mr or Mrs something. But this post is not about these pageants or their relevance but about some people’s obsession about fair skin, they are obsessed with it so much that having dark skin is considered as ugly and unfortunate. I already wrote one post about definition of beauty but in this post I want to focus on stigma associated with dark skin in some cultures.

Most contestants entering beauty contests fit into commercial definition of beautiful, as far as their bodies and looks are concerned the only difference which I see is in developed places like US or Europe skin color variety is more, one can find both dark and fair colored (and in between) contestants participating in the event but in most Asian countries by default all contestants are fair skinned even though in some countries (like India) most people are dark skinned. This is not because dark skinned people are not allowed to compete or being barred to participate but because they don’t make the cut, they all get rejected in preliminary screening. The main reason behind this is obsession of people from these countries with fair skin. One can clearly see this just by looking at name of some of most popular skin care products in India like “fair & lovely” or “Fair & Handsome”, companies or people who advertise and sell these products don’t even see anything wrong in these names or in contents of their advertisement.

I have no idea from where this skin color bias has originated, I think at least in India it can be linked to presence of British or Europeans, they were very powerful and ruled the region for long time, so I think people relate white skin with some kind of superiority, may be same logic can be applied for other places in world where white skin is considered as more superior than dark one. Apart from this I don’t think there can be any other reason, according to me any skin color is beautiful white, black, brown, dark or fair all are beautiful, at least I can not pick one over other, so the preference to one particular skin color in people’s mind must have some social reason as it has absolutely nothing to do with beauty. Heavy commercialization of beauty products has resulted in aggressive advertisement of all brands which these companies want to sell, in this process they don’t care what they show in those ads or even what they claim their products can do, all they want is to sell their product at any cost and they take advantage of these type of social stigmas. They also encourage people to mold themselves to fit into their definition of beauty. In India I have seen with my own eyes stigma associated with dark skin, parents of children with dark skin worry about their kids future, specially how their kid will get married with person with fair skin, this worry is special concern for parents of girl child, they even have to pay more dowry in many cases just because of dark skin of their daughter, all this just because of a ark skin.

People who think fair skin is better or more beautiful than dark don’t even realize that indirectly they are practicing some form of racism, calling someone ugly just because of his/her skin color is not less than racism according to me, we need to question this attitude and object to all advertisements who encourage such thinking no matter which company is making them and which actor or celebrity is endorsing them. These companies have total right sell their product in market but they should not advertise them in a way they are doing it now (at least in India). The advertisement which Shahrukh Khan did for ‘Fair and handsome’ cream is really disgusting, I wonder how he didn’t realize it. I hope people get over this false notion of considering one skin color more beautiful than other, we all come in different colors, shapes and sizes, we all are beautiful no matter which advertisement says what. We need to remove stigma associated with any skin color in our society, person’s skin color or external appearance should not be the only criteria to judge that person and brand him/her beautiful or ugly. I think our society has evolved to such a level where we can understand that beauty is more than just external appearance and we all are beautiful, no matter what shape, size or color.



Do we need middlemen to approach God?

Even if for discussion’s sake, we assume that we don’t need middlemen, then who will tell us that we don’t need any middlemen? In OMG, Kanjibhai takes up that role. By thus giving us the

message that we don’t need any middlemen, he ends up acting as a middle-man. Therefore, those who convey the idea that no middle-men are needed to approach God are making a self-refuting

statement because by stating this they are themselves acting as middlemen. Even if we argue that in OMG Kanjibhai rejects the role of a middleman by beheading his own image that people were about to worship, still even in that rejection, he is acting as a go-between by telling people that this is not the way to worship God.

Even if we listen to atheists and reject the existence of God entirely, we can’t avoid middlemen; we are letting those preachers of atheism become our middlemen. But these are middlemen who

meddle in our relationship with God and push us far away from him. So rather than futilely denying the need of middlemen, we will be much better off investing our intellectual energy in finding out the right kind of middlemen – those who are actually close to God and will help us come closer to him .


8 types of women to stay away from

Enough said and done about what horrible creatures we men are. We are often called stupid, inconsiderate, unromantic, desperate sex maniacs and what not. We have listened and listened and not once complained. But guess what! I have had enough. 

Men like to have fun and a lot of sex agreed. But ultimately nothing in this world can keep us from committing to a woman we truly love and who is actually worth it. But it’s so very difficult to come across one. We are willing to live with the small issues just like most women are but that doesn’t mean we will bend over backwards just to be on your good books women!
So here’s my list on the 8 kinds of women men definitely need to stay away from if they want to keep living a sane happy life. 

The Gold Digger:
You won’t find love here. Just a lot of bills which she expects you to pay for. Watch out. Is she taking you to a costly place to drink on your very first date? Did she spend the entire evening dancing and showed no interest in talking to you whatsoever? When you called for the bill she pretended the walls were very interesting and didn’t once offer to share the bill? Hmm! I think you might have spotted a Gold Digger. RUN.
The Rebound:
You will get your heart ripped most painfully. She will be the person you feel super protective about. She will look vulnerable and feel like someone who needs you. You will get attracted to her because you feel you complete her, make her happy etc. But guess what? She is into someone else. When she gets over that somebody by climbing over your shoulders, she will realise she doesn’t really love you. This is where it ends for the two of you. If she has just got out of a relationship then it’s best to stay away from her.
The Cheater:
Like men, some women are compulsive cheaters. She likes to get to know new people. And the moment she finds someone interesting she is instinctively flirting with him. And it all ends in the bed. How did you guys start? Was she dating someone else when the drunk night happened? Think about it! That drunk night could happen with someone else too when she is dating you! Do you think you can live with it? But most probably she won’t live with you. She is just commitment phobic and an explorer.
The Psycho:
Initially she will be sweet and charming and you will feel lucky to have laid your eyes on her. But wait for a bit. Did you just catch her spying on your phone? Hmmm… Does she always know who you were talking to on Twitter and Facebook? Is she constantly asking you for your passwords? Does she get too angry too soon? Does she start crying too often and then feel like she has ruined your day and life? Ouch! You might have crashed into a Psycho. Run dude Run. For your life.
The Mommy:
Most women fall into this category and it’s kind of cute. They will fuss over your health and your hair and will make you feel totally pampered. But when does it get out of hand? When she doesn’t know how to control her motherly instincts and starts treating you like a 3 year old. Does she reach for the tissue to wipe off your mouth in that fancy restaurant? Does she “scold” you for dropping a little ketchup on your tie? Does she make you feel like you can’t take care of yourself? This woman is not good for your self esteem.
The Pseudo Feminist:
Most women claim to be feminists when they don’t really know what feminism means. These kinds go “all men are rapists/ all men are dogs”. They will talk about man woman equality but will pass judging looks and remarks if a guy doesn’t get up to offer her a seat while he himself keeps standing in a crowded metro. You can’t win any kind of argument with this woman because she thinks she is from an “underprivileged” gender and hence must always be treated with extra special care while she can go on giving s**t to the world and you. 
Miss Clingy:
If you are with her you can’t have your own life! She doesn’t have a life of her own so how can you? You will have to spend each free minute with her. If you are like that too and expect the same from a relationship then cool. Else… You will want to get rid of her in a month!
I, Me, Myself:
She is just not made for a relationship. She is too self involved to realise this bond is about two people working together towards the same goal. She will forever point out your mistakes and make you feel that you are the worst thing that happened to her. Not that she doesn’t love you. She just has never thought that she also could be at fault!

Let the example of power come after, never before, the power of example

“My way or the highway.” This is the conflict resolution mantra of the power-hungry. They sometimes rationalize their power-centric tactics with the Bhagavad-gita’s call for violence. The Gita’s message is far greater and deeper than a mere call to arms. In fact, its essential message is a call to love, enlightened love directed towards Krishna and radiating through him to all living beings.

The greatest power that can inspire everyone towards this spiritual love is the power of example – the example of saintly individuals leading a life of devotion to God and service to all living beings.

The Pandavas exemplified such love through their personal lives, their just rule and their tolerant acceptance of the injustices inflicted upon them by the Kauravas. Arjuna’s readiness to even accept death for avoiding a bloody war, as expressed in the Bhagavad-gita (01.45), confirms that he was not at all power-hungry.

Krishna himself showed the power of example when despite being the most powerful warrior in the world he went to the Kauravas as a humble peace envoy. His example of humility coupled with his sound reasoning influenced many of the Kuru leaders, but not Duryodhana.

Some people like Duryodhana are totally blinded by their greed for power. Such people if they gain power can become monstrous misleaders who can harm millions.

To prevent such a calamity, they need to be taught in the only language they understand: the example of power. They can be silenced and subdued only by a display of power greater than theirs, as happened at Kuruksehtra after Krishna spoke the Gita.

What makes Gita wisdom enduring and endearing is not its contextual call for unleashing the example of power, but its universal call for unveiling the power of example.

Bhagavad Gita Chapter 01 Text 45

“Better for me if the sons of Dhrtarastra, weapons in hand, were to kill me unarmed and unresisting on the battlefield.”